latest love of my life

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Foto ini saya ambil pada hari Senin, 24 April 2017, sekitar pukul 11.57. Pesawat berada pada titik tertingginya saat itu, yaitu 38006 ft atau kurang lebih 11584.299 m.

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Bagi yang mengenal saya, foto-foto langit sudah tidak asing lagi muncul di profil instagram saya. Entah mengapa, sejak kecil saya selalu mencintai langit, terutama ketika saya berada di dalam pesawat, melewati bumi, sembari melihat lautan yang berada di atas awan. Pada saat itu, seolah-olah tempat saya berada adalah sesuatu yang infinite, tak berujung. Saat itu, saya merasa tidak signifikan. Tetapi sekaligus bersyukur bahwa saya masih bisa hidup untuk melihat ciptaan-Nya yang begitu indah.

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Hehe. Intinya, sejak kecil saya mencintai langit. Sayangnya, cita-cita menjadi pilot kandas saat saya kelas 4 SD, ketika saya mulai memakai kacamata. Hiks.

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(Tidak sabar untuk melihat langit dari atas kembali, kapan ya kira-kira?)

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(Saya ingin berjanji kepada suami saya kelak, seperti ayah saya pernah berjanji kepada ibu saya, bahwa saya akan mengajaknya berkeliling dunia dan memperkenalkannya kepada keajaiban-keajaiban di bumi ini).

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Salam, penulis.

Rambling number... dunno.

 

I miss these feelings.

To surround myself by strangers, to learn some new kick-ass culture, to meet new people with their own lifestyle. To realise that there's more in life than my own perspective. To see that, yeah, I'm as significant as that person so how can I be arrogant, selfish, petty, self-centered, when in the grand scheme of things, I'm just another ordinary soul with nothing to show?
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I miss this. Take me back, please.
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I just want to travel the world. To try new things. To stay humble. To see that there's something outside college and quizzes and exams and trying to not dissapoint my parents. To teach myself about everything a classroom couldn't. To experience people and their lives. To learn about love and life and letting go and everything in between.

-a.m.r-

 

midnight musing.

Saya memang tidak cantik. Saya memang tidak kurus tinggi putih seperti wanita-wanita di luar sana. Saya memang tidak pintar.

Saya ini jelek. Gendut. Hitam. Pendek. Tidak pintar. IPK ala kadarnya.

Tapi inilah saya. Saya berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk menjadi apa yang diidam-idamkan lelaki di luar sana. Mungkin memang tidak berhasil. Tapi inilah saya.

Saya berusaha menjadi yang terbaik. Saya berusaha berubah menjadi yang lebih baik.

Saya berusaha untuk menerima kamu sebagaimana saya ingin diterima oleh kamu.

Ketika saya berusaha, kenapa kamu tidak?

Apakah saya tidak cukup untuk kamu pertahankan?

Apakah saya tidak pantas menerima kesetiaanmu?

Kamu bilang, saya ini lebih dari cukup.

Mungkin yang kamu maksud bukan cukup untukmu.

Playlist 'Coffee + Rain = Love'

Hi, fellas!

This is currently my third post. See the title up there? Playlist 'coffee + rain = love' is actually a real playlist on my phone. Just like any other playlist, it consist of 15 songs, and 'cause this is my doin', it has 15 songs that always play on my head when it... is... raining, surprise surprise. Well, this is the list of the songs:

Today's Rambling

Heya, guys.

Today is a Thursday, 26th of May 2016. I just finished my report for a class assignment. This is my last report for this semester, and I feel like
r
 e
  a
   l
    l
     y
great!!!

It's freeing, when you finally finish something that's long due. I mean, I only got to do nine report. Weeeeell, the nine of preliminary reports and nine of final reports. All of it by writing. And then, sitting on the canteen, I opened up the third love of my life and trying to do something productive.

Which lead us to this.

This in I FOUND SOMETHING GOOD WHAT DO I DO?!

I actually got this picture not too long ago, while I'm surfing through pinterest.com. I'm in a mellowed situation, that day.

Well, you're gonna feel like I do too if you suddenly remember the fifth love of your life just got a new love of his life. 

It doesn't make any sense. Sorry.

So! The thing is, I feel alone in my dorm room, no one contacting me (not even my parents, but it's a story for another day), and I feel so lonely. I miss someone to talk to. I miss someone to share my thought, my day, and my life. I miss being able to connect with someone and feel a belonging.

Yeah.

So.

Basically, this is just me found a picture of a poem, feeling nostalgic after finishing my final report, and then feeling lonely without a partner.

So.

Before I becoming too emotional, I'm gonna end this entry. Bhay!
-a.m.r-

Today's Footnote

dear the love of my life,

this is my first mixtape. it's not even a real mixtape because i'm not making it physically. these are just a bunch of songs, love songs, that makes my day back then. now is monday, 9th of may, year 2016, around 8 pm. i know we (may) never met yet that day, or maybe we did, but we forgot about each others and continue with our lives. the thing is, this is my general love song. this is the love songs i love now. when we fall in love, we may have our own love song, but for me, these songs means so much, especially now. i know that when i'm with you, you are going to be it. the one i'm going to spend my life with. so, be patient, lets making ourselves better first. one day when we meet and fall in love, we're going to be better than our past selves and making each other the best. i love you.

yours,
your future wife.
-a.m.r